6 reasons we lose our joy
This post is in response to an Ask Waydi post which I received. In this post, I will enlighten you on the reasons we lose our joy.
Joy is a simple, yet profound word that encompasses a feeling that is deeper than happiness and closer to contentment. It is evoked by one’s perceived wellbeing, success or good fortune and is more a state of mind than an emotion. In short, joy is a good feeling within one’s soul.
When you lose your joy
Life is tough. Adulting is hard. Motherhood is taxing. Parenting is relentless. Going out to work a mundane job day in and day out is no easy accomplishment. Most of us are just clutching straws and prancing around as if we have it all figured out. Some days we wake up wondering what the point is. Other days we get up crabby, or just too exhausted to continue. It is unrealistic to expect yourself to hold on to positivity each and every day. Regular folk, who have negligible history of mental health issues, also succumb to a rut when the demands of life become too much and, if this not taken care of, it may lead towards unwelcome mental and physiological health issues.
Losing joy is a sign of burnout
If you’re having more bad days than good and feeling crabby or exhausted has become a regular pattern for you, it might seem like you’re on the brink of depression. However, we should first consider a few reasons you may be losing your joy.
6 reasons you’re losing your joy
1. Spirituality keeps our foundation strong
Spirituality offers a sense of purpose. It allows us to let go of our anxieties about the past and concerns about the future because we believe that destiny, both good and ill, is in the hands of The Almighty.
Like all skills which need to be practised to be perfected, it is imperative that we practise upon those actions which will lead us to become more spiritual beings. Be it increasing the recitation of the Qur’an, or keeping busy with zikr, or paying more attention to what we are reading during salaah. When was the last time we actively took steps to increase our own spirituality?
There is nothing more liberating than letting go of one’s stresses and leaving it all in the Hands of The Creator.
2. Perspective
Ask yourself: Will this matter when I am laying on my death bed? Very often, we find that the tasks that we dread, the ones that drain our joy, are those life-related tasks (think Duniya) which will make very little difference to us at a time when the most important things matter.
Remind yourself to look at the bigger picture. Your current trial is probably shaping you up for a future success. Your current problem is probably not as big if you think about your true purpose in life. Focusing so closely on a matter narrows our perspective, it closes our minds to other possibilities and it limits our creativity.
Step back, be honest with yourself and gain some perspective.
3. Biting off more than you can chew
Do you find that you might have bitten off more than you can chew? Then it might be a good time to step back and find a way to delegate or to simply say no when you can’t manage your mental load.
- On a blank calendar, draw up a list of all your to-do tasks for a month. Include work, shopping, daily cooking, etc.
- Now include all the little things that are ‘expected’ of you. For example, your other duties as a mother, daughter, wife. Most of these might overlap with the previous list. Write over those ones to make them bold.
- Now include all the things you do for yourself. This may include your time at the gym, or some self-grooming time, etc.
Ensure you’re keeping hydrated and are getting the proper nutrients in your diet. You’ll be surprised at what a few extra glasses of water a day can do to boost your vitality.
Most adults need a minimum of eight hours sleep. I know I function best with seven to nine hours, depending on the season. I know many people who can function on much less sleep. The key is to know what works for you and then be consistent.
Ideally, rising pre-dawn and sleeping just after the sky gets dark will give your just enough hours you need for each season! You can marvel at the beauty of it. If you aren’t already doing it, try it for a few days and let me know what you think.
4. Lack of sleep or proper nutrition
Nothing beats the early morning quiet; that peaceful time before the hubbub of the day begins. It’s the ideal time to pray, meditate and indulge in your daily self-care routine (see 5 below).
5. Lack of a regular and consistent self-care routine
I am a big advocate for self-care. Let’s face it! It’s cheaper than a visit to the doctor and it’s definitely cheaper than therapy!
Find some time during your day, when you are least needed, to spend ten minutes on yourself. Put away the gadgets. Lock the door if you have to. It can be something as simple as enjoying a cup of tea, or paging through a magazine, or reading a few pages of a feel-good book, or practising some meditation. What you do in those ten minutes is entirely up to you, because it’s YOUR time.
Be consistent with this practice because, you will find that, on your busiest or most stressful day, you will look forward to those ten minutes, you will indulge in it and you will appreciate yourself for making YOU a priority.
6. All work and no play made Jack a dull boy
You know the old saying… All work and no play made Jack a dull boy. Try doing something out of the ordinary and see how that lifts your spirits. Try out a new hobby, or revisit an old one. Think of the things you enjoyed doing when you were younger and more care free. Which of those could you revisit with a more mature perspective?
My go-to hobby is Crochet. (Years ago, I kept a blog to show my crochet projects. It was called Crochet by ‘The Way’. It kept me sane during my pregnancies and beyond. I’ve since closed that site and now focus all my attention on this one.)
Once you’ve decided which of these six reasons may be the cause of you losing your joy, and then take steps to rectify it, you will yourself more comfortable in your own skin, more in tune with your surroundings and more content in your soul.
Stay well, inside and out
Waheeda, a.k.a Waydi
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