The Role of Fathers in Islamic Parenting: Beyond Breadwinning
Fathers in Islam are not only supposed to provide their children with monetary and tangible comforts of life, but must also teach them religious moral lessons and care for them.
In Islam, family roles are well established within our religion and the Shariah law. Specifically, there is the role of mothers and fathers, which has been stated in many places in the Quran and Hadith. Fatherhood is one of the essential elements of Islamic parenting highly emphasized in Islamic teachings. Fatherly care is considered a key responsibility in nurturing children to the best of their ability, with affection, attention, and support.
In Islam, fathers do not only provide for the family financially but are responsible for leading their families and shaping young minds. Today, we will discuss more aspects of fatherhood in Islam than just the provision of financial support and provide several pieces of advice to Muslim fathers regarding how to spend more time with their children.
The Role of Fathers in Islamic Parenting
Islam places great importance on the father’s contribution to raising children. Few of us know that there is a plethora of Quran and Hadith literature dedicated to the importance of fatherhood and the duties that come with it.
Abu ‘Abdur-Rahman As-Sulami narrated from Abu Ad Darda: “I heard the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) saying: The father is the middle gate to Paradise. So if you wish, then neglect that door, or protect it”. (Jami` at-Tirmidhi 1900, Book 27, Hadith 4)
A father in Islam is to serve as a role model for his children. Kids look to their dads for direction and motivation. Thus, fathers are anticipated to set an example and demonstrate the finest traits and conduct. Let’s learn what is expected from Muslim men when they start their own family in the light of hadith reference.
Maintain Discipline
A father shields his family from danger, but he is also tasked with safeguarding the reputation of his immediate and extended family. This can lead Muslim fathers to adopt strict measures and discipline any family member whose behavior might bring disgrace to the family unit.
Abdullah ibn ‘Umar said: “The pleasure of the Lord lies in the pleasure of the parent. The anger of the Lord lies in the anger of the parent. (Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 2, Book 1, Hadith 2)
Give Attention
The greatest gift a father can offer his wife and children is his time. Indeed, a father provides a roof over the head. There’s a meal on the table and clothes to wear. However, kids require more than just money. They require more than just shelter; they need a father.
Children require emotional support and focus. No sum of money can substitute for this kind of relationship. Living a simpler life and spending time with family is preferable to residing in a mansion while the family remains disconnected.
Moreover, children who possess vast amounts of wealth but lack either a father or a mother are likely to face challenges in the future. They will sense that you prioritized money over being with them. Hence, fathers must understand the value of leading a balanced life and maintaining a connection with wives and children.
Allocating time for memorable interactions and activities helps promote bonding and connection. For example, fathers can walk with their children, play sports with them, or spend time chatting or listening to their children.
Find a Groom for Their Daughters
In addition to maintaining discipline and being the backbone of the family, a significant role of a father in Islam is to seek a suitable husband for his daughter.
Uqbah bin Amir said: “I heard the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) say: Whoever has three daughters and is patient towards them, and feeds them, gives them to drink, and clothes them from his wealth; they will be a shield for him from the Fire on the Day of Resurrection.” (Sunan Ibn Majah 3669, Book 33, Hadith 13)
Instill Islamic Principles and Ethics
Islam prioritizes instilling Islamic values and ethics in their children as early as possible. A father should help a child learn prayer, empathy, caring, and telling the truth as valuable behavior.
Furthermore, fathers can help their children learn what is said in the Quran and Hadith and how to use this knowledge to live their lives. Fathers can learn this from a young man called Luqman Al-Hakim whose name is mentioned in the Holy Quran. This young man always invoked the call of affection for his child repeatedly. In addition, he taught his son to refrain from associating partners with Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى) and also made sure his children learned that it is always good to be humble.
It comes in the Holy Quran in Surah Luqman (Quran 31:17):
يٰبُنَيَّ اَقِـمِ الصَّلٰوۃَ وَاْمُرْ بِالْمَعْرُوْفِ وَانْہَ عَنِ الْمُنْكَرِ وَاصْبِرْ عَلٰي مَاۗ اَصَابَكَ۰ۭ اِنَّ ذٰلِكَ مِنْ عَزْمِ الْاُمُوْرِ۱۷ۚ
O my son, fulfil your moral obligations, bid what is known to be right and forbid what is wrong, and bear with patience what befalls you. These are indeed acts of courage and resolve.
Give Children the Best
A father has the right to make decisions for his children. These rights provide them with a good reputation, education, and offer them a favorable standing in society. Here is a hadith narrated by AbudDarda that mentions this:
“The Prophet (ﷺ) said: On the Day of Resurrection you will be called by your names and by your father’s names, so give yourselves good names.” (Sunan Abi Dawud 4948, Book 43, Hadith 176)
Conclusion
In Islam, a father is seen as a virtuous leader, a caring nurturer, and a source of financial stability and emotional backing for his family. The Quran highlights his responsibility as a role model, nurturing kindness, compassion, and understanding in the home, especially towards his wife and children.
We hope this blog will offer perspectives on the importance of a father’s role as a parent within the family structure in Islam. Respect your father just as you respect your mother; without them, you cannot become a successful and righteous individual.
Guest post by Zain Jawwad. Zain is a skilled copywriter and content creator who writes high-quality articles and blogs. He has experience covering a wide range of topics with valuable insights. Zain also occasionally contributes articles to Muslim & Quran.