Why moms are losing joy in parenting
Parenting is a beautiful journey filled with countless joys and rewarding experiences. However, it is no secret that the demands and pressures of motherhood can sometimes lead to losing joy in parenting. In this blog post, I’ll delve into some common reasons why moms may find themselves losing joy in parenting. I’ll also explore insights from an Islamic perspective on parenting. By incorporating Islamic principles, we can gain a deeper understanding of how to navigate challenges and restore joy to the parenting journey.
Overwhelming Responsibilities
Modern motherhood often entails an overwhelming amount of responsibilities. The expectation to be a nurturing and attentive caregiver, a competent household manager, and a dedicated professional can take a toll on a mother’s well-being. The constant juggling act of meeting the needs of children, ensuring quality family time, maintaining a home, and pursuing personal goals can lead to exhaustion and stress. The sheer weight of these responsibilities can make it challenging for moms to find joy in parenting when they feel stretched thin and constantly under pressure.
Balancing Responsibilities and Priorities
Islamic teachings emphasize the importance of balance and prioritisation in parenting. While the responsibilities of motherhood can be overwhelming, Islam encourages mothers to strike a balance between their duties towards their children, households, and personal obligations. By recognizing that their primary responsibility is to raise righteous children, mothers can find joy in aligning their actions with their faith and maintaining a balanced approach to their various roles.
Lack of Support
A significant factor contributing to the loss of joy in parenting is the lack of support, both tangible and emotional, that mothers often encounter. The absence of a strong support system can leave moms feeling isolated and overwhelmed. Society’s expectations and gender norms may also perpetuate the idea that mothers should be selfless superheroes, further adding to the burden. Without adequate support from partners, family, friends, or communities, mothers may struggle to find the joy and fulfillment they need to thrive in their parenting journey.
Seeking Support in the Community
In Islam, community support is highly valued. Building a network of supportive individuals who share similar values and beliefs can greatly alleviate the challenges faced by mothers. The concept of “ummah” (community) encourages moms to seek assistance, advice, and companionship from other mothers, relatives, or members of their local community. This sense of belonging and shared experiences can provide solace, guidance, and a renewed sense of joy in the parenting journey.
Constant Self-Doubt
Motherhood comes with a multitude of decisions, ranging from breastfeeding versus formula feeding, to co-sleeping versus sleep training, and everything in between. The endless barrage of conflicting advice and societal expectations can leave mothers doubting their choices and abilities. The fear of making mistakes or not being the “perfect” mom can drain the joy out of parenting. Self-doubt erodes a mother’s confidence and prevents her from fully enjoying the beautiful moments she shares with her children.
Trusting in Divine Wisdom
Islamic teachings remind mothers to trust in the divine wisdom and decree of Allah SWT. Parenthood comes with its share of uncertainties, decisions, and challenges. Through prayer, reliance on Allah, and seeking His guidance, mothers can find comfort and regain joy in knowing that they are not alone in their parenting journey. Trusting in Allah SWT’s plan and acknowledging that He has entrusted them with the responsibility of raising their children can bring a profound sense of purpose and fulfillment.
Loss of Identity
The transition to motherhood often leads to a significant shift in a woman’s identity. The focus and priority placed on raising children can sometimes cause mothers to lose touch with their own passions, interests, and personal growth. This loss of identity can create a sense of emptiness and contribute to the diminishing joy in parenting. Re-discovering and maintaining one’s individuality outside of the role of a mother is essential for finding joy and fulfillment within the parenting journey.
Emotional and Mental Exhaustion
Parenting can be emotionally and mentally demanding, as mothers constantly navigate a range of emotions and challenges. From sleepless nights and tantrums to teenage rebellions, the emotional rollercoaster of parenting can take its toll. Constantly putting others’ needs ahead of their own, mothers may neglect their emotional well-being, leading to exhaustion and burnout. It becomes challenging to find joy in parenting when a mother’s own emotional tank is running on empty.
Fostering Love, Compassion, and Patience
Islam emphasises the importance of love, compassion, and patience in parenting. These qualities are not only essential for nurturing children but also for maintaining the joy of motherhood. By embodying these virtues, mothers can create a positive and nurturing environment that fosters love, respect, and emotional well-being. Cultivating a deep bond with their children and fostering a strong sense of connection through acts of kindness, understanding, and forgiveness can reignite the joy that may have been lost.
Self-Care and Personal Growth
In Islam, self-care and personal growth are valued as integral aspects of a mother’s well-being. While the selflessness of motherhood is commendable, it is crucial for mothers to prioritise their physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. Engaging in acts of self-care, pursuing personal interests, and seeking knowledge not only rejuvenate mothers but also enhance their ability to find joy in parenting. By striking a balance between caring for themselves and their children, mothers can maintain their own sense of identity and find fulfillment in their roles.
While motherhood is undoubtedly a transformative and rewarding experience, it is essential to acknowledge the challenges that may lead to losing joy in parenting. By understanding and addressing the overwhelming responsibilities, lack of support, constant self-doubt, loss of identity, and emotional exhaustion that many mothers face, we can work towards creating an environment that fosters joy, fulfillment, and well-being for moms. Supporting mothers in their parenting journey is not only crucial for their happiness but also for the well-being of their children and the strength of our communities as a whole.
By incorporating insights from an Islamic perspective on parenting, we gain valuable wisdom and guidance in navigating the challenges that may lead to a loss of joy in motherhood. Balancing responsibilities, seeking community support, trusting in divine wisdom, fostering love and compassion, and prioritizing self-care are essential aspects that can help moms regain joy and fulfillment in their parenting journey. Embracing these principles, mothers can find solace, purpose, and renewed joy as they raise their children.
Stay well, inside and out
Waheeda, a.k.a Waydi
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Losing joy in parenting
Losing joy in parenting
